Facts&Questions Answered By Transformers&Me
by RatchetD
Summary: Well you get the idea from the title. just a few questions and facts answered by transformers and me. This story is just what we think about the questions and facts. you can send me reviews on how you would answer the facts and the questions.
1. Chapter 1

**FUN FACTS AND HOW THE TRANSFORMERS RESPOND TO THEM! XDXD**

**These are just some facts I found out there in on the internet and thought you guys would like to see how i reacted and how i pictured the Autobots and Decepticons reacted to the facts of the Organic world! Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: dont own the facts, i found them randomly. Dont own the characters of transformers. DONT LIKE DONT READ. simple as that.**

**Fact 1**

The longest Monopoly game in a bathtub lasted 99 hours!

Me: Who the hell would sit in a tub that long?

Jazz: who cares?

Me: didnt ask you!

Prowl: I think that is uncalled for to sit and play a game for that long.

Me: agreed. -glares at jazz-

**Fact 2**

**Over 1,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.**

Laserbeak: Squack! - smashes into Megatron's patio door- ( tis glass XD)

Me: Expected.

Swoop: KAW! - smashes into my back window-

Me: What the...

**Fact 3**

**President George W. Bush was once a cheerleader!**

Me:... i have nothing to say to that...

Optimus: I did not see that in him as I met him at the White House.

Me: whaa?

Optimus: -walks off grumbling to self-

Me:o.o

**Fact 4**

**More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines.**

Me: Of course! Their decepticons... i think... - sees a vending machine choking a fat man-

Jetfire: eh, some are Autobots.

Me: how?

Jetstorm: We help fat ones lose weight!

Me:...

**Fact 5**

**Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.**

Ratchet: Is that how I have kept on living?

Me: yeah your pretty old... - dodges a wrench-

Ratchet: damn missed...

Ironhide: My kisses are special. :) They give Ratchet super powers.

Me: hun, he aint gettin any younger - dodges another wrench by a centimeter- whoa!

Ratchet: just alittle closer... - aiming with another wrench-

**Fact 6**

**Outside of the bedroom, the most common place for adults in the U.S. to have sex is the car.**

Me: :D

Autobots: 8U ( they cant believe this fact... BUT I CAN! XD )

**Fact 7**

**The U.S. Government spent $277,000 on pickle research in 1993.**

Me: I like pickles...

Prowl: pickles are healthy plants on this organic world.. -watching the discovery channel-

Me: :I... he watches too much tv...

**Fact 8**

**The inventor of the Waffle Iron did not like waffles.**

Me: Then why did he make it?

Alpha Trion: Maybe he was nice enough to do it for those who love waffles, or for other reasons...

Me: meh...wait... other reasons?

Alpha Trion: -smiles-

Me: ...o.o

**Fact 9**

**False teeth are often minutely radioactive.**

WheelJack: must... test...

Me: NOOO!

WheelJack: -puts false teeth into his mouth and... BOOOOOM-

Me: - is blown away- AAAAAAHHHH! YOU ASS HOLE!

**Fact 10**

** Your statistical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand.**

Ironhide: -fires is guns at me-

Me: hold up! what you doin?

Ironhide: seeing if your chance of diein with increase.

Me: 8U

Ratchet: -throws wrenches-

**Ok peeps! thats ten facts! now im going to make another chapter and that will contain questions... strange questions... that i and the autobots will answer... hope you will like it!**

**R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R**

**XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here are the questions and answers to the questions! Answers are by me and some of my favorite transformers! Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN ANYTHING! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ! Simple as that.**

**Question 1**

**Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?**

Me: well, if ur not expecting it, it would be unexpected, but if your expecting something that is unexpectedly expected then its not really unexpected...but...if you...

Jazz: stop... just stop...

Soundwave: Answer:Incorrect.

**Question 2**

**Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment but when you transport by ship it's called cargo?**

Me: I dont even wanna try and answer this one...

Bumblebee: hmmm... let me try: Maybe because...because... hmmmmm

**Question 3**

**Why do they call the airport a terminal if flying is supposed to be safe?**

Skywarp: Not all planes are safe, sweethearts!

Me: your a jet, dumbass

Jetfire: -old man voice- I'm a safe jet...neeeh... i think...-engines backfire-

**Question 4**

**Why do some people feel the need to say, "Know what I'm saying?" after everything they say?**

Me: well, to make you understand more, you know what i'm saying?

Mirage: Know what i'm saying?

Me: what chu sayin?

Mirage: You know what i'm saying...

Me: I... um... 'dont.

**Question 5**

**Why do shampoo instructions read, "Rinse and repeat" - do they think we missed our head the first time?**

Me: i suppose so

Tanks: shouldnt miss your head if ya know where it is. ( talking to the headmasters, since their head is filled with a human half the time...)

**Question 6**

**At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?**

Me: The right

Jetfire: left

Red Alert: right i believe

Dirge: left and right... im taking both.

Me: what if someone next to you took your left or your right

Dirge: then tell them to shove off and take it.

**Question 7**

**Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.**

Ratchet: I CERTAINLY dont want to see anyone naked...

Me: Transformers dont wear clothes... so your seeing your own kind naked anyway

Optimus: She has a point there.

**Question 8**

**If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?**

Me: uuuuugh...

Megatron: That's so obvious. They eat humans.

Soundwave: Answer: In- -gets a glare from megatron- Correct...

**Question 9**

**Why do we kill people who kill people to show them that killing people is wrong?**

Megatron: Well, because the person or bot needed to be taught a lesson.

Me: that doesnt make sense.

Optimus: I agree with her. Killing someone to show them that killing someone is wrong doesn't make you any better than the murderer.

Megatron: well, then... I don't give a damn. Kill or be killed.

**Question 10**

**When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?**

Me: obviously not

Jazz: I would... cus the only cop who could stop me is Prowl 3

Prowl: Doesn't mean its always going to be me * wink wink *

Me: ugh...

**Thats it for the questions... now on to some quotes!XDXD**

**R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R * huff puff* R&R&R&R&R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here are some quotes I thought were funny and I decided to hang with some of the Decepticons and some Autobots and talk about the quote and give our opinions! XD**

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN NUTHIN! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ! Simple as that.**

**Quote 1**

**The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong,  
>is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. -Douglas Adams<strong>

Me:hmmmm this makes sense.

Bumblebee: no it doesnt. How can something go wrong when it cannot possibly go wrong.

Me: Ha! who knows?

**Quote 2**

**A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.'  
>The doctor says, 'It's old age.'<br>The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.'  
>The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.' - Tommy Copper<strong>

Me:LMFAO

Perceptor: That is very rude.

WheelJack: Well, she asked for the opinion. Better to tell the truth then tell a big lie.

Me: Agreed.

**Quote 3**

**We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis Diller**

Me: I love this one. Why teach us when your just gonna tell us to shut up?

Ultra Magnus: its amusing to see younglings try to walk and talk, but then when they do and get older... it ruins the perfect image.

Me: :'( thanks.

**Quote 4**

**The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. -Rita Mae Brown**

Me: ever read that story on here made by AutobotV? Its called Our Altered Destinies... its amazing. Optimus suffers from a "mental illness" from being on earth too long. Well its not really a mental illness... ( imma stop here so that i dont spoil it for ya XD)

Optimus: STOP RIGHT THERE!'

Ultra Magnus: -sighs and palms his face-

Perceptor: I told you not to tell anyone... rephrase that... YOU told ME not to tell anyone, and here we have her knowing what happened.

Ultra Magnus: -sighs again and walks off-

Optimus: who else knows now? - panics and runs off to find the Magnus-

Perceptor: tut tut

**Quote 5**

**If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it. -W.C. Fields**

ME: this one had me laughing for hours! XD

Tracks: i do this all the time...

Soundwave: Tracks:Fool.

Tracks: :I Go play with you cassettes and leave me alone.

Soundwave: Tracks: Go play with your cassettes and leave me alone. Answer: You irrate me.

Tracks: ... - leaves-

Me: what just happened?

**Quote 6**

**If you believe everything you read, better not read. - Japanese proverb**

Me: i read almost all the time, and i could say i dont but i think i do believe some of what i read...

Mom: Honey, what are you reading?

Me: the bible

_**If this offended anyone just let me know. I just said this one cus it made me laugh... i thought it was funneh and i thought you guys would too. I believe in God and Jesus.**_

**Quote 7**

**The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. -Bill Watterson**

Me: Makes sense, since we humans are very stupid.

Sentinel Prime: VERY! and thats why we havent heard of you guys till like... three days ago! Organic life form is-

Me: NO ONE ASKED YOU! ... dick...

**Quote 8**

**Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink. -Jim Slattery**

Me: This one is for you Sentinel.

Sentinel Prime: My opinions dont stink. They are more like facts.

Me: yeah, facts coming from a completely disoriented sentient being.

Sentinel Prime: "Disoreeinted?"

Me: .

**Quote 9**

**No one is listening until you fart. -Unknown**

Me: oh god...

WheelJack: actually its when i go "boom"

Me: oh lawdy

**Quote 10**

**Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places. - Unknown**

Me: that is so true!

Twin Sis: yeah, like being at the mall...

Bro: or being in Gamestop...

Me: or being in an all you can eat buffet! ( sorry im a big fan of eating! im not fat... yet... getting there...) ROFL

**Thats it for quotes... i have more but didnt wanna pass ten for each chapter. you can easily look these quotes up if you like and more! XD**

**R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R * heart attack* AISHDFKDNFKAMSDLFKJ!**


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